A big thank-you to the Dark Lords from

without whose generous offer for our souls, none of this would be possible.

by Nathan Leonard

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Dramatis Personae


Gotty is a happy-go-lucky scamp who loves swords, guns, and just generally killing stuff. He also loves his friends, but not as much as he loves swords, guns, and just generally killing stuff. Gotty is deeply in love with Anna, but that doesn't stop him from fucking basically anything that moves, especially if he's recently stopped it moving with a sword.
[Gotty is based upon my friend Steven "Gotty" Gott. For legal reasons, I have to point out that to the best of my knowledge he has never killed anybody.]


Bob is Gotty's sidekick. He is fond of many of the things that Gotty likes, but also has a vague conscience that sometimes puts him at odds with our hero. Nonetheless, he is happy to assist Gotty in most of his endeavours.
[Bob is not based upon anybody. He just kind of grew from nothing into the second-most-featured character in the strip.]


Anna is an asexual freak who likes everything to be grammatically correct. She is aware of Gotty's love for her, and allows him to comfort himself with her massive norks whenever he is feeling vulnerable. Which is rare. After all, he's Gotty.
[Anna is based upon Anna Ghislaine Williams, whom I have never met outside of the internet. I often find it hard to believe that she could be as strange in real life as she is on the internet.]


Simon is a stoner. He has no real aspirations in life beyond the acquisition of a chemically-inspired state of mind. Gotty likes to spend time with him whenever he wants to put aside the complexities of life and just talk shit.
[Simon is based upon my best mate, Simon Duffin. The real Simon has aspirations and dreams, and doesn't spend his whole life stoned. Just as much of it as he can.]


James is Gotty's nemesis. He disagrees with Gotty on almost everything. The two will never turn down an opportunity to fight. Without James, Gotty's life would feel very empty, apart from all the other people in the world who hate his guts.
[James is based upon James LeLuan, whom I have met a couple of times in real life but mainly know on the internet. He and Gotty geniunely hate each other's guts. I like them both, but then I'm a hopeless optimist. James is protrayed as a goomba because that was his avatar for a long time, and he doesn't have any distinguishing features.]

P. H. Wolfpiston

Wolfpiston is Gotty's Lawyer. As you would imagine, he gets a lot of work. [Wolfpiston is based on nothing more than the fact that I like creating names by shoving two random words together.]


Jesus is the son of God. God sent him down to Earth in order to suffer for the sins of Man. God was always fairly vague about how Jesus's suffering helped man, but was very insistent. Jesus is not very fond of his father, but one doesn't have much choice in life when one's father is God himself.
[Jesus is based upon a man who lived around 2000 years ago. For legal reasons, I have to point out that the real Jesus is not the son of God. God doesn't exist, fools. Get over it.]

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